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I Hate My Team and You Should Too
July 29, 2008
By: Md23Rewls
It has been nearly a month since I posted my baseball love connection article. The good vibes were just rolling in, man oh man, except for the Seattle Mariners, who I forgot existed. But I now know the Mariners do exist, and in honor of their unmemorable team of scrappy losers, they are going to lead off this list. Everybody should hate their team. What’s a love affair without a vase or two thrown out the window? I will order this list as I see fit.
1. Seattle Mariners
Felix Hernandez is still called King Felix despite the fact that he has never really done anything worth caring about. I know it’s pretty hard to hate a guy named Felix, but try. They are 28th in hitting and somehow 16th in pitching. In fact, hate them for not being as bad as they could be. They have 38 wins. 38! What kind of garbage team plays that well? When you check the newspaper in the morning and see Seattle has lost again, smile and pour yourself another cup of coffee, because the world is right.
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All You Need is Love
July 1, 2008
By: Md23Rewls
This week marks the midway point of the baseball season, a season that has met mediocrity to a large degree. This is what it has come to. No team has more than forty-eight wins, and only five teams have fewer than thirty-five (three of those teams reside in the NL West). The vast majority of teams sit comfortably in the 35-42 win range. It’s a whole lotta vanilla, and it looks like there will be a whole lotta teams around 90-93 wins come the end of the season. So what’s a poor boy to do? Sing for a rock n’ roll band as Mick Jagger once sang so famously forty years ago? No, in this age of equality (mediocrity?) you must learn to love and hate all baseball teams equally. And I am here to help you do just that. I’ve come up with reasons to love every team. Coming next week: Reasons to hate them. But we’re all about positivity, so let’s start pouring on the love before we scald them with a burning hot poker.
Reasons to Love Them:
1. Boston Red Sox
They have a green wall. They have two (2) spectacularly mediocre center fielders where zero would suffice. You can’t ever have enough mediocre center fielders. I wonder if Melky, Coco Crisp and Jacoby Ellsbury eat dinner together when New York plays Boston. McDonald’s for all. Boston’s rotation is led by Josh Beckett, who has more strikeouts than innings pitched. I love pitchers who have a K/9 higher than 9.00 and you should too. They also have Sean Casey, who I hear is the most likable player in baseball or something like that. How could you not love that when Bartolo Colon was pitching for them he actually did decently? Oh those lovable Sox indeed.
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June Check Up . . . C+
July 1, 2008
By: EnterSandman42
It's June 19th. The Yankees are currently on a seven game tear, showing the National League who's boss. For some reason, however, I still can't get a good read on this team. They have clearly made a jump in the offensive category. You can thank the return of A-rod and Posada into the lineup for that. And yes, serve me my crow, the "Ruthian" tear by Jason Giambi has injected the team with some life, pun intended. I didn't think Giambi would be close to what he is doing right now. In fact, a month ago, I thought that he'd be doing one of three things: 1. Sitting on the bench twiddling his thumbs while Shelley Duncan took over, 2. Batting 9th with a .102 AVG with 4 HR and 9 RBI, or 3. Sitting at his house in California waiting for a Major League team or International League to pick him up; hey, the Newark Bears could always use some offense.
The pitching has been great. Mike Mussina has found the fountain of youth. Dimebag Darrell Rasner has made a positive impact. Joba Chamberlain, while I am still very against him starting, has looked well, even with the coaching staff treating him like he's made of solid gold. Andy Pettitte has been good. Wang getting hurt in Houston has made this tear bittersweet; no one likes losing their ace. Hank Steinbrenner did manage to make it all okay though with some stupid comments regarding the incident, with something along the lines of: "Our pitchers have to pitch, field and hit in these parks, you expect them to learn how to run too?" Funny, I thought everybody knew how to run, but I digress. The returns of Hughes and Kennedy will surely give this rotation a boost, perhaps push Rasner into the bullpen, which would hopefully push LaToya Hawkins (not a type-o) out of the bullpen and onto the designated for assignment list. Pitching has been improved, but is still not great. The bullpen has been okay lately, but I can't expect it to stay this way. This team is not completely on a roll until Cano and Cabrera start hitting like they are capable of. This has been a little bit long for a slump, don't ya think Robby? I hope Melky comes around but I'm starting to think maybe he's just a fourth outfielder Ricky Ledee type. That's not a bad thing, Ledee brought good intangibles to this team during the dynasty run.
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